In a ground-breaking study recently featured in the New York Times, psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love simply by having them ask each other a series of 36 questions.
The questions were specifically designed to build trust, openness and eventually feelings of deep intimacy.
The journalist writing the piece for the New York Times was so intrigued by the study and having gone through a recent breakup asked a man she was merely acquainted with (they had never hung out one on one) if he was willing to meet at a bar and go through these questions with her as an experiment.
They met and over the course of a few hours asking each other the questions something fascinating happened:
“I wondered what would come of our interaction. If nothing else, I thought it would make a good story. But I see now that the story isn’t about us; it’s about what it means to bother to know someone, which is really a story about what it means to be known.
It’s true you can’t choose who loves you, although I’ve spent years hoping otherwise, and you can’t create romantic feelings based on convenience alone. Science tells us biology matters; our pheromones and hormones do a lot of work behind the scenes.
But despite all this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible — simple, even — to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.
You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. Well, we did.”
Asking the right questions can help you fall in love, stay in love or grow deeper in love.
Additionally, asking the right questions will potentially save you a lot of heart-ache if asked early in the relationship if “red flags” pop up. I’ve heard way too many stories of long-term relationships or marriages breaking up because important things never got discussed in the early stages and caused huge issues later on.
Where are you currently in your relationship or non-relationship?
YOUR COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS – SOLVED!
Based on Dr. Arthur Aron’s research I have not only put together questions that will help couples FALL IN LOVE but have scientifically collected a total of 1,000 of the most important questions couples should ask each other.
These are questions that go beyond small talk and simply making conversation like you will find in most “questions” books. You will NOT find questions like “if you were a color, what color would you be” or “what is your favorite flavor of ice cream”.