There was a lot of sleeping on the couch and in the spare bedroom.
They were constantly battling over the smallest issue — which only led to bigger
issues. Threats and yelling were an almost everyday thing.
They both desperately wanted to be accepted and loved, but neither felt it.
The more each tried, it seemed the further they moved apart.
They had tried therapy, self-help books, seminars.
But nothing seemed to make a difference.
It seemed as if they were stuck in a vicious cycle.
They knew they needed to change things in their relationship…
but they just didn’t know how.
I’m not going to try and convince you that I was able to undo years of fighting,
struggling and disappointment in a day. But, with what they learned in my office
that day, they decided to put their impending divorce “on hold.”
- There were no angry arguments that went nowhere.
- There was no “living like roommates” or sleeping on the couch.
- There was no more name-calling or tearing-down of each other.
- Their, previously sexless, marriage saw sparks of true pleasure and intimacy again.
Last week, Kelly called to invite me to their
anniversary and “re-commitment” ceremony!
Most marriage therapists are not trained to be marriage counselors.
They receive their training in traditional, individual therapy, and add marital counseling to their practice… after the fact.
In other words, most marriage therapists have little expertise in helping a troubled marriage.
And, when they do offer marital counseling, they are, usually, applying outdated, ineffective strategies that were never intended to help truly troubled marriages.
I know from experience, because I too was frustrated with such a low rate of success. I sincerely desired to help my clients to save their marriages. But, the techniques and strategies I learned in school seemed to be making things worse!
Once I realized that “traditional” methods of marriage therapy don’t work, I determined to find and create strategies, techniques and methods that do work.
It led me to abandon much of the “old school” ideas about how to help troubled couples…and so should you!
Please watch this video on why “Marital Therapy”
can be destructive to your situation!
Before you can begin your journey toward
saving your marriage, you need to stop
buying into The Four Most Damaging Myths
About Saving Your Marriage.
Anyone Is Capable of
Transforming Their Relationship
Impossible as it may seem, I have created techniques which transform relationships… even when only one person is trying! My typical client is a spouse that wants to save their relationship when their partner has already “given up.”Most therapists work from the assumption that, if only one person wanted to work on the relationship, it was impossible to fix. I don’t approach marriage crises this way. I approach them like an algebra equation. If one side of the equation is changed, the other side must change! Incredibly, my clients have achieved an 89.7% success rate. . . even if only one spouse starts the process! (Findings based on surveys. Individual results can vary.)
With Kelly and Greg, it was Kelly who started the process. She found me on the internet , downloaded Save the Marriage and began the process of saving the marriage. . . by herself. Greg was still bent on a divorce, but Kelly still had hope. . . and took action. Fairly quickly, Greg was less insistent on the divorce, but still assumed it was their only option. Eventually, he agreed to spend that hour with me, in person. . . leaving their divorce attorneys waiting.
You may be wondering. . .“When Is Saving The Marriage Impossible?”
Couple after couple have proven that it is possible to change a relationship and rescue, just about, any marriage from the edge of destruction.
These couples have not just avoided divorce. They have transformed the marriages into something wonderful. . . something better than they had dreamed possible.
Anatomy Of A Marital Crisis
At this point, it is inevitable that issues
will arise that create marital crisis…
The issue may be another person, a job change, a shift in life circumstances or stage. When it comes, one or the other feels the hopelessness of the situation, and moves to resolve the crisis by getting out of the marriage.
When the crisis is in full swing, it sometimes takes awhile for the other spouse to respond.
But, I discovered you can use actually this fact to create a path back to wholeness.
Too many other programs treat the way back to happiness as only one issue.
I believe there are 8 distinct stages of a crisis, and each must be dealt with completely differently. What is helpful at one stage can be destructive, or at least counterproductive, at another stage.
I have created a unique and different path for each stage.
These paths have been tested and retested, and proven very successful for my clients. This is not “pie-in-the-sky” theory. It is tried, tested, and re-tested.
It is critical you know which stage you are in before you begin making changes.
It is entirely possible to do the right thing at the wrong time and cause more problems.
You need to know EXACTLY which stage of crisis you are facing. Only then, can you begin the healing process.
Otherwise, it is probable you will inflict further damage on your relationship.
At this point, the trajectory of the relationship can become unpredictable.
A marriage can fall apart in a million ways.
But, the path back is predictable.
A marriage only recovers in one, predictable way. . . there is only one path back. The specific steps on that path may vary (depending on the stage) but the “way back” is the same.
Imagine a map on a trip. You may start from different places, different distances, but you are still going to take the roads that lead to the Interstate that leads to your destination. You only need to know the path from where you are.
It’s not just about avoiding divorce…
it’s about creating the marriage relationship of your secret dreams…
It’s not enough to stop a divorce, just use some trick method
to try and stop a legal process (it will fail, anyway).
Who wants to be in a “mediocre” marriage relationship?
Most couples believe that their marital problems mean that they are destined to,
at best, have an “okay” marriage. This could not be further from the truth.
You don’t have to settle for anything less than the marriage relationship of your dreams!
In fact, this is my true goal.
I won’t feel satisfied unless as many couples as possible are experiencing everything that they always expected from marriage.
Recovery to average is not good enough.
I have helped hundreds of couples to rescue and transform their marriages and, I want to help thousands more to create exceptional marriages!
This is why I recently sat down and wrote a new Marriage Saving System. . .
“The Save The Marriage SYSTEM”
As I said earlier in this letter, I was shocked to see that there were so many (virtually) useless “save your marriage” guides offered online.
Unlike system, most of these “guides” are written by ghost writers that are hiding behind a pretty picture. I am a “real, live” person that you can actually contact (see the bottom of this page).
And, the guides written by actual professionals are, for the most part, based on tired, old and ineffective “traditional” theories of counseling that only achieve 20% effectiveness. . . . when used in person, in a therapist’s office!
I felt as if I had to make available the unique, different and (most importantly) effective secrets that I had discovered in my practice.
My goal is to save as many marriages as possible.
Chances are, you will probably not have the opportunity to visit me, in person.
But, I can still provide you with the information and the assistance you need to really start saving your marriage. . . through Save The Marriage.
(Just a few of the hundreds of notes provided to us, all telling us the same thing,
that while individual results vary, This Material Works!)
“I am amazed…a whole new outlook…
I sat and read your modules last night. I read from about 7pm to 12am. I am amazed! After reading, I have a whole new outlook on our marriage. After reading, I am prepared to make the necessary changes and shifts in order to have the marriage I’ve always wanted.
“A dramatic turn around!
What a dramatic turn around! Our relationship is 180 degrees reversed and moving in the RIGHT
direction! Thank you so much!”
“My relationship is much better…
For the record… let me just say that your guide is the most sensible, real, self help book of any kind that I have ever read… …These things that you talk about in your book are real, so simple—THEY JUST MAKE SENSE… My relationship with my husband has gotten so much better !! thank you, thank you thank you”
“A terrific resource…
I have been reading the first few sections and am very relieved to find such a terrific resource…
…It really fits with the direction I’ve been taking, personally and with clients.”
“He actually left…
I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage… …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…I purchased your system…. …I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance… …I had to wing it with only your strategies in my head… …Many, many thanks for your resources…”
“Radically different…I finally have hope..
My marriage has been in trouble for years. I’ve read other books. . . your ideas are radically different from the others. I’ve never read anything like it. Now, things are improving. I finally have hope!”
Just Some Of What You’ll Discover…
The Top 5 Mistakes people make when a crisis arises.
The “real” secrets to a healthy, stable, loving marriage.
How to assess the stage of your crisis (there are 8).
How to address any stage of a crisis and turn it around.
What to do, what to say, and what to avoid in order to save your marriage!
Why “hard work” on the relationship isn’t always the answer.
How marriage counseling can be dangerous to your marriage’s future.
Why “low mood therapy” is destined for failure and how “high mood relating” makes the difference.
How to move beyond emotions and take action!
How to find the North Star of your relationship, and why it matters.
Why true intimacy is a lot closer than you think–and how to get there!
What “the TIE Elements of Communication” are, and how they can transform your communication.
How to change the momentum of a relationship, sometimes instantaneously!
What the Practices of Marriage are, and how they can transform your relationship.
Why arguing is a waste of time — and the amazingly simple secret to get around it.
How to become a team, even if you feel like opposites.
Why power is so destructive to relationships and how to change it.
How to deal with problems involving sex or money.
Why anger and resentment are so dangerous, and what to do about it, regardless of whether you or your spouse is angry or resentful.
How to make paradigm shifts (literally, quantum leaps!) in the relationship.
Much, much more about how to transform your relationship.
How to begin saving your marriage beginning in less than an hour, maybe in less than 10 minutes!
In short, how to have the marriage of your dreams.
Because this system is only offered in an electronic, downloadable format, you can begin your journey of marital happiness and fulfillment immediately. . . even if it’s 2 AM in the morning! Plus, you never have to worry about facing the lady at the register in the book store. Your purchase is in total privacy and your personal copy of this powerful system will be downloaded to your computer in less than 2 minutes!
And, because you don’t have to pay for printing or shipping, I can charge you significantly less than I would for a “hard copy” version of this system.
But you need to ACT NOW!
Let me tell you why you need to act now: The longer you go without taking action, the lower your chances to save your marriage.
You see, marriages in crisis are not static. If they are not improving, they are worsening. Only appropriate action can reverse this. Please, take action now!
You can think about it like a commercial:
Cost of an hour of therapy: $60 to $150 (multiply that times 100, the number of sessions in 2 years of therapy ($6,000 to $15,000 total).
Cost of an average divorce: $30,000 (not to mention the ongoing losses and emotional toil).
Cost of a great marriage: PRICELESS!
If your partner has told you that they want out, you must read this module!
This is the starting point in the process, so that you do not continue to do damage to your chances.
Your natural reactions during this critical stage of your marriage crisis are, usually, wrong.
This report will help you to avoid the top 5 mistakes that most people make in this situation.
Making the wrong decision during this stage could make things worse…much worse.
I have taken my Stage Of Crisis Diagnosis and converted it into a very powerful module that will help you to establish EXACTLY which stage of crisis your marriage is currently in.
It will then prescribe a path to recovery based on that particular stage.
This report will make your efforts immediately effective!
This will be the next stop in your marriage recovery, so that you have a roadmap to use in your immediate actions.
This is the core of the system. You will find section after section telling you the real secret of marriage, what gets in the way, and how to move your marriage toward what you want.
The results of my research, experiments and testing are here for you to discover. All you have to do is read, complete the exercises, and apply it to your marriage. The rest takes care of itself!
This is the third module because the first module gets you out of harm’s way, the second module gets you moving toward recover, then this module helps you understand why your marriage was failing and treats the root cause, not just the symptoms.
Ready to have a Step-By-Step Guide on rebuilding your marriage? This is IT! Learn exactly what steps I use when I am coaching my clients.
This method has worked time and again in helping people to restore their relationship. One step at a time! And I can teach it to you very quickly, especially when you already have the information provided above!
This module will also teach you about the advice you need to avoid! Let me give you some quick coaching to get you moving in the RIGHT direction to avoid more damage.
Anyone can follow this advice, and as long as your spouse allows at least a little communication, this will work! I also include a bonus exercise that really gets things moving, once you have accomplished the reconnect. And I’ll even tell you about separations, and what the results REALLY are with separations.
These four modules create the powerful Save The Marriage System. It is a complete path to recovering and saving your marriage, regardless of the situation now.
You can only get the modules as a unit, since each builds on the other, creating a synergy that will overcome difficulties you may be having.
The system is designed to change your understanding of marriage , and especially your understanding of the problems. Here’s why: if you just keep thinking about things the way you have, you will only stay where you have been — stuck and going down! Albert Einstein said “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
Let me help you change your thinking and save your marriage!
Bonus 1: Coping With A MidLife Marriage Crisis
A MidLife Crisis can become a Marriage Crisis. In this audio, I cover the truth behind a mid-life crisis (it has nothing to do with the stereotypes), and how to avoid the pitfalls of a crisis.
If you are in the midst of a mid-life crisis yourself, you need to listen. If your spouse is in the midst of a mid-life crisis, you definitely need to listen!
The recording is in mp3 format, so you can listen on your computer, transfer it to an IPod, IPhone, or any other mp3 player. If your CD player will allow, you can even burn it to a CD and take it with you!
Bonus 2: Recovering From An Affair Audio
One of the most damaging events for a marriage is an affair. Yet, it is possible to not only recover from an affair, but actually strengthen your relationship because of an affair! But only if you understand the affair, and know how to recover from it.
This audio will tell you why it happened, how to deal with it, and even prevent it from ever happening again. If you have had an affair, you need to listen. If you are trying to recover from a spouse’s affair, you need to listen. And if you want to keep an affair from ever happening, you definitely need to listen!
The recording is in mp3 format, so you can listen on your computer, transfer it to an IPod, IPhone, or any other mp3 player. If your CD player will allow, you can even burn it to a CD and take it with you!
Bonus 3: 5 Rules For Fair Fighting Report
This report is designed to give you instant rules for making an argument fair. For each finger on your hand, there is a rule. They are easy to remember, clear, and concise.
But if you use them, I promise they will keep an argument from getting out-of-hand and destructive.
My System will give you some alternatives to arguing, but when you do find yourself in a conflict, these rules can literally save your relationship from the destruction of unfair fighting.
Bonus 4: A Very Special Bonus Ebook:
Change Of Heart, by Paul and Jennifer Thibeault
This final bonus is a real gem! Paul and Jennifer were on the edge of divorce. . . and saved their marriage! They did it in front of a crowd! And they not only saved their marriage, but they became soulmates. I promise that you have the same potential that they had. They found a way to make it work.
After recovering, Paul and Jennifer wanted others to have the same opportunity of saving their own marriage. So, they wrote a book. It used to be for sale on their website for $39.95, but they did not have the time to keep up. Now, they have given me permission to offer it to you, as a bonus! You can’t get this anywhere else!
You will find yourself inspired, empowered, and given some tools that will help you save your marriage, just as they did!
You get the Save The Marriage System, the bonus audios, a bonus set of rules for fair fighting, and a complete bonus ebook! If I haven’t managed to convince you by now, it is time for me to give up! If this is not right for you, then please, move on. But, if you are really ready to take action, I can give you the tools you need! Please, take action and Save Your Marriage
Your total (no hidden charges) investment in the future of your marriage is only $47.00!
“Worth every penny…”
“Firstly, I want to thank you on your great help you provided in your book.
My wife already filed for divorce before I downloaded you book, and i wanted to do anything I could to save what I could. At that stage I stumbled onto your website, and normally I don’t buy e-books over the internet.
We were speaking, but obviously the relationship was very tense. After reading your book I realized what could have gone wrong.
I changed my perspective on my marriage, and after only about 1 week, she has delayed the proceedings, and is seriously reconsidering the divorce completely. She is also starting to commit to this marriage.
If this can happen in my marriage in only 1 week, i can only imagine what it van mean to others. It was worth every penny.
Again, thank you very much for the information you provided. I opened my eyes to what marriage is about, and where the possible pitfalls could be. And how to “fix” it if it happens.” -Armand Oberholzer
Try the secrets in the Save The Marriage System.
Then, at your leisure , utilize its secrets to save and transform your marriage.
If you are not absolutely thrilled with the dramatic improvements in your marriage, just let me know and I’ll promptly and courteously refund 100% of your money – with no questions asked. . . for an entire 60 days!
Your only requirement is to use the material for a full 30 days, just to see the power of the simple secrets. That’s it! Give it your best shot, then I will offer you a. . .
100% Unconditional 60-Day
Money Back Guarantee
If, for any reason (or no reason at all), you decide this book hasn’t transformed your marriage. . . I will refund every penny you paid. Furthermore, I’ll even let you keep the system (and the bonuses) for your trouble!
So, as you can see, you will be making your marriage everything you ever desired. . . at my risk. . . not yours!
This system has been described as one of the most radical and important sources of relationship saving strategies and techniques ever written.
Whether you are simply frustrated and disappointed. . . or on the verge of divorce. . . this proven information will help you to turn things around. . . quickly and easily.
After clicking the purchase link, you will be taken to a SSL (Secured-Socket Layer) Protected page that requires a small amount of information. This page is hosted by Clickbank, the safest payment processing company on the internet. (In fact, we will never even see your payment information.)
Clickbank can accept all major credit cards or can access a Paypal account. After the purchase is confirmed, you will be automatically sent to a special page I set up to allow you to download your Save The Marriage System, information and recordings for IMMEDIATE ACCESS.
That’s right. You can start the process, and in less than 10 minutes, you will be reading the information you need to start saving your marriage, regardless of what time it is, day or night, and regardless of where in the world you are located. Think about it: in less than an hour you can have your strategy in place on how to save your marriage.
Don’t wait another second. It is time to begin to save your marriage. My powerful information will give you the exclusive information you need to begin saving your marriage THIS SECOND!
The time for action is now. . .
but only YOU can take it!
I have created the resources you need to save your marriage. I have made it so that you can access the information anywhere in the world, any time of the day or night. I have guaranteed that it will work. But the final action is yours. Only you can decide if your marriage is worth the small amount of effort necessary to turn it around.
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Relationship Coach and Marriage Expert
P.S. You may have skipped right to this point. If so, here’s the offer in a nutshell. You get your own personal copy of Save The Marriage System that is 100% guaranteed to help save your marriage. . . starting within the next few minutes.
Plus… If you order now, you will also receive the Quick-Start Guide To Saving Your Marriage module.
Plus…I will also give you the Top Five Things NOT To Do When Your Partner Wants Out! module.
Plus…You will receive my powerful module, Dealing With Anger And Resentment.
Plus…By ordering now, you will get my newest module, Down-N-Dirty Guide.
Plus…You get the bonus audios, Deaing with a MidLife Marriage Crisis and Recovering From An Affair.
Plus…I will give you 5 Rules For Fair Fighting to help you get through conflicts.
Plus…For a short time, you get the ebook, Change of Heart at no extra charge!
And. . . if you order during this limited-time offer, you receive all of the above for only $47.00!